I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
