Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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