If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
