Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance

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(805): View more from California

"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me

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(516): View more from New York

The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.

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(631): View more from New York

I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

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(904): View more from Florida

In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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(206): View more from Washington

The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.

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