Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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