They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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