I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
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