So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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