I don't think brook has ever known best
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
