Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
