they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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