i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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