Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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