there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
