the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
