I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
