I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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