Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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