just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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