Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
