My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
