I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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