hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
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