Define "chronic" masturbator.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
