Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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