i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize