they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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