what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
