I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
