I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
