these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
