new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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