East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
