I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
