at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
