I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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