you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you will always have a special place in my vag
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize