just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she told me i tasted like america
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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