As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
