My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
