maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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