I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You can't just leave with hair like that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
