remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize