i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
NoShamevember. You game?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
