i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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