And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
did i just pee glitter
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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