He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize