Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
