? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
