she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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