Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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