I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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