i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
