The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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