Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
