I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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