I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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