Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
