Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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