Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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