i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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