Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We named our party play list daddy issues
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
